Granted

We are granted so many wishes in life that we often take for granted. Think about your car. Before you had a car, it's probably all you wanted. Yearning for the autonomy and freedom of having your own car. But now, years later, are you thankful every time you get behind the wheel that you are blessed to be able to do so? When your car breaks do you still think about how fortunate you are to have a car? Think about the food in your refrigerator (and the fact you have a refrigerator). Thinking on a worldly level, a stocked fridge isn't as common as it is in America. Readily available food may not be a wish of yours because you've never been without, but if you have it, you've been granted a wish that many people are still wishing. When you're out of food, are you frustrated that you have to go to the grocery store, or are you thankful that you are able to go to the grocery store?

I know that in my case, I am often frustrated with my car or dreading my trip to the grocery store. What got me thinking about all this taking-for-granted was my baby crying out for me and my feeders in the middle of my REM sleep. I lay there feeling sorry for myself that I had to get up in the middle of the night to feed my baby. But then it hit me. I have a baby. I am blessed beyond measure. I have a beautiful marriage that produced a beautiful, healthy daughter. How lame am I to feel sorry for myself when I should be thankful in the middle of the night that I have a daughter to feed!? Don't get me wrong, I know how blessed I am, and I am daily thankful. When she's smiling at me and sweetly looking into my eyes, it's easy to be thankful. But when she's looking into my tired eyes and crying at 4 a.m., it can take a little more effort to remember to be thankful.

So next time I'm frustrated, I'm going to step back and look for something to be thankful for in the situation. That's probably a much happier way to live :)

Recharge

I never realized how self-centered I was until my schedule was TOTALLY dictated by someone else. I love love love being a Momma, but it's tough! Completing something so simple as the dishes is seldom done uninterrupted. Even a trip to the grocery store must be scheduled in between feedings and diaper changes. The selfish being inside of me misses the days when I could do what I wanted when I wanted. Since the beginning of parenthood, I have not had a day to call my own. I've had glimpses of "me" time, but they have been few and far between. When I have a couple hours to myself, whether it's working (6 hrs/week max), or going to see my friends, it's never just me by myself with nowhere to be or nothing to worry about. I'm always worrying about how much milk I left for Julia, and burdening someone else with my responsibility. I would like a day - a whole day - to just exist by myself. I haven't been by myself other than in the car here and there in a looong time. I know that this is just the beginning of parenthood, and that my selfish days are now long gone, but I think it's important to have occasional alone time to recharge my batteries so I can be even better at Mommahood. Alone time is important in my relationship with God. It's so refreshing to just be - just me and God. While I do miss having "me" time, I know that when I do get it, I'll be wondering how my Little Miss is doing and missing my time with her. There really is nothing like it. In the toughest of days when I'm really wishing I could have some time by myself, her warm snuggle or a sweet smile lets me know I'm exactly where I need to be :)

What I would do with a "recharge day" to myself:

1. Have a killer workout with a really good playlist

2. Take a long, hot shower - maybe even a bath!

3. Go to Breugger's and get a Breuggaccino (don't know how to spell it, but it's deeelish!) and a big, fat bagel with jalepeno cream cheese

4. Go outside and read while I sip my Breuggaccino in the sunshine

5. Go thrift store shopping

6. Go somewhere and get some yummy fish tacos for lunch and continue reading my book

7. Get a pedicure

8. Stop by Yogurt Mountain on my way home

9. Hang out with my husband and daughter and dog in the backyard while the sun sets over our fence