On The Move

I know I haven't written in a loooong time, but I feel like I need to write.  We are moving.  I am so deeply and genuinely excited about the adventure of starting a new chapter in our lives, clearing out all of the junk out of our house, and just seeing where God leads our family.  But when I let the thoughts sink in of such great change, and the reality of leaving our house, our yard, our neighborhood, I freak out a little.  Okay, a lot.

I don't handle change well.  I may appear to handle it well on the outside when I remind myself and say out loud how I am excited to see what happens next or giddy with the thought of something new, but inside I freak out.  Like, chest-tightening, shortness of breath, cry in the shower freak out.  It's not the something new that freaks me out, it's saying good-bye to the something old.  In this case, the something old is a perfectly fine house, our first house, a big, green, sunny, breezy, perfect-for-stargazing, daughter-and-dog-love-to-run-around-in yard, lots of flowers I planted with my own hands, the door through which I carried my children home from the hospital, one of the most magnificent night skies I've ever seen, fresh country air, no traffic unless there's a tractor, beautiful sunsets, redbuds out my back window, crazy but lovable gun-toting neighbors, and oh so many memories from these past four years.  But most of all, what I'm saying good-bye to is my comfort zone.

I am comfortable in the country.  I thrive in the openness and the fresh air and the distance.  It's my sweet spot.  There are lots of reasons why we are moving, most of them business related and exciting, but I just know that one of them is to get me out of my comfort zone.  I know that God will use this next little chapter of my life to stretch me and make me reach for him and need him more and more.  I'll probably need to make my way out to the country here and there to enjoy the quiet, the fresh air, and the stars - these are the things that make God's presence ever so clear to me, and they're my love language - but I also pray that God will show himself to me in new things that I haven't noticed him in before.  Maybe in new neighbors, and city noise, and traffic.  Who knows??  I'll have to wait with open eyes and an open heart to find out.

But the most beautiful, comforting thing about change is that God doesn't.  Thank God for that.